My wife, who has some considerable expertise in this matter, has just sent me a note on Ways To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity. (She has left "Living With You" off the list, but I can see the space where it was.)
Anyway, here's the list. Feel free to add more:
1. Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In".
5. In the memo field of all your cheques write "For Smuggling Diamonds”.
6. Finish all your sentences with "…in accordance with the Prophecy".
7. Skip rather than walk.
8. Carefully specify that your drive-through order is "To Go".
9. Sing along at the opera.
10. Go to a poetry recital. Ask why the poems don't rhyme.
11. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play jungle sounds all day.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
14. Go the the Zoo. When leaving, start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!"
15. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."
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