Everywhere I go, especially in the mornings, I see people with paper cups of coffee.
They walk along the street, in many cases drinking out of these cups before they get to work, presumably in the belief that a sip of coffee now is in some manner better than a sip later.
Soon we will be indistinguishable from Americans, who go through life so wound up on strong coffee that they have heart attacks if anyone farts near them.
(This is not as much of an exaggeration as it sounds. When an aeroplane crashed into one of the bridges over the Hudson River in New York a few years ago, several people drowned when their cars fell into the river. But a vastly greater number of people died sitting at the wheels of their cars, killed by heart failure. A doctor at the scene said many of the people involved seemed to be acutely keyed up before the accident. "Some of them had had so much coffee in their systems that they were heart attacks waiting to happen," he told reporters. But I digress...)
Are you one of these people?
Do you drink coffee slowly throughout the morning, for the buzz that enwakens, excites, and makes you tingle and glow?
Yes?
Then I have news for you:
Your breath reeks.
That's right.
The smell of coffee on your breath is like excrement and vomit, mixed.
Eau d'Abattoir!
You don't believe me?
Get someone you know to drink a cup of coffee, slowly, and then breathe into your face.
Eeeeeeeeeehttp://www.
Now you know why so many people walking backwards in the morning. Away from you.
Now you know why so many people you meet in the morning seem to be miming the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Leaning at an angle away from you.
If you're a coffee drinker I gently suggest that you brush your teeth and tongue immediately after you've swallowed the stuff.
Either that or chew a piece of gum.
Salut!
Attached Image (viewed 110 times):
|
