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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 12:05 am |
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I tried to find someone to watch the wedding of Kate Middleton and Prince William with me, but was unsuccessful. I had been invited to a party by a gay friend but, he warned, I might feel a little out of place as I would be the only person there who was not a member of royalty. In other words, I would have been the only person there was not a queen.
So I watched it on television, and found it enormously instructive.
For example, I learned - as I gazed down on William's balding head - that there is an acute shortage of Rogaine in the United Kingdom.
Surely this represents a significant marketing opportunity for someone?
Could this be you, gentle reader?
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 12:06 am |
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We also learned - as the cameras passed from Kate Middleton to the ghastly David Beckham (with designer stubble) and Victoria Beckham (looking like even more like a streetwalker than usual) - that some commoners are commoner than others.
In the case of Beckhams, much, much commoner.
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 01:01 am |
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We discovered that the BBC is unaware that New Zealand is a monarchy.
At least, I infer this from the fact that the BBC commentator kept referring to this as "a great day for the people of Britain" etc etc.
Someone should tell the BBC that there are more royalists per head of population in New Zealand than there are in Britain, and Queen Elizabeth II is our queen as well as theirs.
Kate Middleton is our Duchess of Cambridge and will be our Queen Katherine.
So there.
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 01:10 am |
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The BBC also mistakenly suggested that Sarah Ferguson was not present.
This was completely incorrect.
Sarah attended in the form of the hat on the head of her daughter, Pricess Beatrice.
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 01:22 am |
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| We also learned that the Anglican marriage service is antiquated to the point of being ridiculous and - worse - it is profoundly boring. Attached Image (viewed 39 times):
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 01:55 am |
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Seven TV channels - #1, 3, 11 (E!), 90 (Sky), 91 (CNN), 92 (Fox) and 93 (the BBC) - broadcast the wedding from beginning to end.
It was a republican's nightmare. (If there's anyone who deserves nightmares it's one of those joyless drips.)
Easily the funniest commentary was on E!, which I always think of as the only television channel available in Hell.
The commentators on this channel talked about nothing except (a) the clothes and (b) the Kiss (would there be one? would there be tongues? and so on and on and on).
As far as I could see they got everything at least a bit wrong, and many things completely wrong, but it was all fun.
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 01:58 am |
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It would also seem that Prince Harry is a complete oik; what used to be referred to a a Hooray Henry or lager lout.
I can't help feeling that the tabloids will find much more to report about Harry's exploits in the coming years than they will in the lives of William and Kate.
This unappealing and unwarrantably self-satisfied fellow is supposed to be a supremely eligible bachelor, but any female who is stupid enough to marry him will, I am confident, come to regret that action. Harry may yet not be as crazily unpleasant as, say, Charlie Sheen but he has the potential to get there before long.
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 02:40 am |
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Perhaps the point of an occasion like this is that it annoys the right kind of people.
Was Osama bin Laden happy about the wedding of William and Kate?
Did it gladden the heart of Helen Clark?
Did it lead republicans and like-minded joyless individuals to push aside their bowls of gruel, throw off their hair shirts and rejoice?
The answer, sadly, is no.
How one pities these people.
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 30 Apr 2011 03:06 am |
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As I watched the various networks' commentaries on this event not an ill-natured word was spoken about the happy couple.
This might have been because everyone was on their best behaviour.
On the other hand, it might have been because there was nothing unpleasant to say, and this was one day on which there was no reason not to rejoice.
I really couldn't say.
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