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David Harcourt
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| Posts: | 1127 |
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Posted: 22 Feb 2007 09:05 pm |
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David Cunliffe is Minister of Communications, Minister of Information Technology and Associate Minister of Economic Development in the Clark government. He seems to have performed competently enough, and early talk of his potential as a future prime minister doesn't seem wildly misplaced. At least, not yet.
But Cunliffe is one of a number of members of parliament who as often as not talk pure nonsense. Worse - and this is the slightly scary part - they appear to sincerely believe that when they open their mouths what they are uttering is a pearl of the purest prose. (The worst offenders in this respect are Parekura Horomia, who is of course a hopeless case, and the egregious Shane Jones, who over his short life in the House has evolved from a bombastic idiot into a very, very bombastic idiot.)
Cunliffe was waffling on appallingly during an interview on Morning Report today. This interview was not particularly interesting in itself, but I was curious to see whether the programme's resident rottweiler, Sean Plunkett, would respond to Cunliffe's self-adoring performance by playfully tearing his milky white throat out - something Plunkett is wont to do, more or less at random. (I have often wondered whether some mornings they forget to give the poor, unhappy fellow a large steak to go with his bacon, eggs, sausages, tomatoes, chips, baked beans and toast, and it is on those days that the guests cop it.) But not today: Cunliffe was allowed to talk his eyewash unmolested.
There have been plenty of hints of this capacity for fatuous blethering in Cunliffe's performances in Parliament, ever since he was elected in 1999. In his maiden speech, for example, he told a breathless House that:
... the Speech from the Throne reiterated the Government’s determination to build a New Zealand that is both more prosperous and more just.
A New Zealand where every person is valued equally, regardless of race, creed, religion, gender, orientation, or where they come from.
A New Zealand where every person grows up in a land of opportunity, with decent housing, accessible health care, and an education system second to none.
A New Zealand where each citizen is proud to celebrate our unique identity.
A New Zealand where we journey together towards maturity as a nation, and to the Commonwealth Republic I personally believe we will become before the Treaty turns 200.
A New Zealand where our natural environment is protected as a taonga, left in a better state than we received it from those gone before.
When I read this for the first time I was reminded of Oscar Wilde's response to the closing chapters of Charles Dickens's The Old Curiosity Shop:
"One must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell without laughing."
In short, it rather looks as if David Cunliffe is just another avuncular bullshit artist, like so many who have gone before him.
But then it must be remembered that being a bullshit artist is no disqualification for office in New Zealand. Those of us who remember the long reign of Keith Holyoake know that.
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rupert-bear
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| Posts: | 16 |
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Posted: 23 Feb 2007 07:51 am |
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At least he's not yet so far up himself to demand exclusive access to lifts at Parliament, kicking out any non-MP's as Lockwood Smith does. What does Lockwood want to do in the lifts by himself?
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David Harcourt
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| Posts: | 1127 |
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Posted: 7 Dec 2007 12:38 am |
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I suppose none of you can recall my comments in February about David Cunliffe, but as my portrait of this profoundly silly man has been vindicated by recent events I find that I must return to the subject. (Don't expect the same eagerness to remind you about what I have said when I get it completely wrong.)
Here is how the New Zealand Herald of 8 November reported on Cunliffe's performance in the House as the newly-appointed Minister of Health:
The only things missing were the cowboy boots, a ten-gallon hat and the sheriff's badge. Otherwise, David Cunliffe's performance in Parliament yesterday was as hammy as a slow-talking, quick-shooting gunslinger in a cheap spaghetti western.
Clearly modelling himself as some latter-day Clint Eastwood-type character - but without the required degree of silent menace to make him really threatening - Mr Cunliffe came to the House with one intention and one intention only: to show who's boss in the health portfolio following last week's Cabinet reshuffle.
Interrupted by his Opposition counterpart while being questioned on the woes of Wellington's Capital and Coast District Health Board, Mr Cunliffe imperiously intoned:
"Mr Ryall, why don't you stay in your box. I'm running this show."
And "show" it was. Not one which would win Mr Cunliffe an Oscar or an Emmy. But entertaining, nevertheless. At least for Opposition MPs, who could hardly believe the minister's swagger as he leant on his bench and eyeballed them like a town marshall daring a bunch of desperadoes to try to outdraw him.
He was clearly out to show he meant business. With the help of a patsy question from a colleague, he revealed his first "external" action as Health Minister had been to haul the district health board's chairman and chief executive into his office following the closure of child cancer treatment services in Wellington.
They had told him the board would report by the end of the month recommending solutions.
"I expect that to be done," he said, enunciating each word slowly to leave the impression there would be trouble if it wasn't.
However, his rounding on Tony Ryall backfired somewhat. In declaring he was the one now "running the show", Mr Cunliffe has given National a stick with which to beat him when it comes to taking responsibility for things going wrong.
Spotting Annette King and Pete Hodgson seated together in the health ministers' "graveyard", Mr Ryall wondered who had been running the show for the last eight years and who should therefore accept accountability for the dysfunction, mistrust and rock-bottom morale at Capital and Coast Health.
"Very clearly, primary accountability rests with the district health board," began Mr Cunliffe, ducking the bullet and provoking even more guffaws from Opposition benches.
"And it would be inappropriate to reach over each layer of governance until the appropriate work has been done," he continued."
However, rather than reaching over, Mr Cunliffe seemed to be over-reaching himself in trying to appear tough and decisive.
Earlier this week, Cunliffe turned in another quality performance. Here is how it was described by the Dominion Post's Jane Clifton:
Since his "I'm running the show!" swagger last month, Health Minister David Cunliffe has replaced Parekura Horomia as the minister most looked-to for daft quotations.
He seldom disappoints. Yesterday, as National's Tony Ryall railed over Wellington's hospital service, Cunliffe drew himself up and fixed Ryall with a pitying stare, saying: 'The member may attempt to become the sand in this oyster, but I'm afraid the grain is too small.' After a short silence, MPs carolled with laughter. Mr Horomia's best quotes are merely incomprehensible. Mr Cunliffe at his best is both incomprehensible and pompous.
"Did you bite your foot?" National's Bill English asked, in an arch reference to how Cunliffe recently broke a bone in his foot.
"Perhaps the Minister would like to, er, clarify the answer?" Speaker Margaret Wilson urged.
Slightly nettled at this, Mr Cunliffe said he was unsure how much clearer he could be, but added that he took his responsibilities as minister extremely seriously, "and members should judge me by the actions of coming weeks".
As yet not a whiff of this clownish behaviour appears in Cunliffe's Wikipedia entry, which is something I should fix. (My last contribution to that burgoeoning cybertome was to change a wong to a wang, but that is a story for another day.) Wikipedia should in my view record that Cunliffe has in a few short weeks assumed the mantle of Chief Clown in Ordinary to the New Zealand House of Parliament, leaving such contenders as Parakura Horomia standing at the gate.
It is a real achievement, and Cunliffe should get due credit for it.
David Cunliffe: an unofficial photograph
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 11 Dec 2007 12:31 am |
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Of course, the daily papers are having a field day with:
* the hapless Cunliffe
* Trevor Mallard (who is in court facing a private prosecution for assault: I felt a momentary pang of sympathy for him until I remembered his refusal to apologise for his wholly unjustified attack on Erin Leigh), and
* the Electoral Finance Bill
Here is how the Dominion Post summarised last week's performance by Cunliffe:
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David Harcourt
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Posted: 27 Feb 2008 07:26 pm |
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What David Cunliffe and the Labour Government have in common with Commodore Bananarama and the "Government" of Fiji may not be immediately obvious, but it is this:
The Fijian dictatorship, as we know, has been increasingly ruthless in suppressing dissent. Those who oppose the Bananarama regime, or have significant potential to oppose it, are simply taken out of play, whether through the laying of criminal charges, or deportation. Or worse.
In short, Fiji is in the hands of a gang of thugs.
How alarming, then, to find that the Labour Government in New Zealand is beginning to behave the same way.
Peter Haussman was until this week a member of the Hawke's Bay District Health Board. While a member of that Board he has been involved in a conflict of interest which has the potential to cause considerable embarrassment to the Labour Government of Helen Clark.
Haussman, by the way, is apparently the husband of a former Labour Minister of Health. Presumably this is Annette King: I haven't been able to check this.
Considerable embarrassment is not something which any government needs at any time, but it is especially not something which this government needs, given that its ethical standards have already set a new low for New Zealand politics. Were governments as cynical and corrupt as this one in the 19th century? I suppose they were, but it's been a long time since we have seen as much sleaze as Clark and her Labour Party colleagues have managed to generate in the past eight years. When the histories are written, let us hope that this fact will not be lost sight of.
Meanwhile, by sacking the Hawke's Bay District Health Board, including the unlovely Mr Haussman, the Labour Government has removed a threat to its tattered reputation in an election year. If it continues to look to the Fijian model, may we expect criminal charges and deportations for opponents in the coming months?
Watch this space.
Plenty of reason to smile this week...
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